so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
