i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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