FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
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YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
