just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
