I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
