Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
