i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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