I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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