Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize