Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
