i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
