So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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