Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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