you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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