my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
