so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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