Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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