I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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