okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
