You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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