dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
