I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
