I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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