I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
