there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
