Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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