Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize