before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
