It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
