I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
