Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
