I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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