Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
