I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
not ubering you a puppy
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
