:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
