So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
