his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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