Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
