Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
