Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
