I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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