I hate all girls vehemently.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
