perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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