they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
