He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
