I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
