i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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