I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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