Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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