Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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