you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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