I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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