what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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