I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So here I am, sexting at work.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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