i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
