Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
