He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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