Cold hands, warm shart.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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