I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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