I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
