She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
