my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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