I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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