what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
